What makes you feel loved? What triggers you, or sets your partner off? Why do you each behave the way you do when you are hurt or angry?
As one of my couple clients, I will guide you to develop a safe, and secure-functioning relationship. We will focus on the need to know more about who you are, as individuals, and as partners.
Have you noticed that your interactions as adults often reflect how you felt as a child? The more you know the reasons for your inter-reactivity, the faster you can repair moments of disconnect. And the more you know how to express love in a way that it is felt deeply as love by your partner, the closer and more connected you will feel as a couple. That’s where we begin when you come to me for couple therapy.
The Inspiration for my Work
I was initially inspired by the work of Erich Fromm. In his book The Art of Loving, Fromm spoke of love as an art. Over the years, I trained in several different approaches as a couple therapist. This enriched my understanding of what it is to be truly loving and deeply connected to another human being. My own personal experience as a husband and co-therapist with my wife Louise has given me greater insight and empathy when working with clients.
Several years ago, I was fortunate to meet Dr. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT. Stan opened up for me another dimension in understanding couple dynamics. Dr. Tatkin is the co-founder and developer of A Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT). I am now a Level 11 PACT Therapist offering intensive couple therapy to both married and non-married couples..
PACT is guided by the principle of secure-functioning relationships that thrive on mutuality, fairness, justice, and a win-win for both partners. It is an integration of:
— attachment theory (how early childhood relationships impact our adult experiences)
— arousal regulation (the ability to regulate our emotional states)
— developmental neuroscience (how the brain impacts our behaviour).
My Personal Style
I find that intensive couple therapy works best for my clients as well as for me, so I work in 1.5-2 hour time blocks. As a couple therapist, I am interactive and collaborative. I bring warmth, humour, and a sensitive listening ear to each counselling session. And I look forward to helping you and our partner move forward to a new level of peace and understanding.