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2. What is couple-to-couple
counselling?
When
couples who seek couples therapy, they commonly
will visit the therapist separately and together
-- for individual as well as couple sessions.
Couple-to-couple therapy involves two therapists
-- in this case, a husband-and-wife co-therapy
team -- who work jointly and simultaneously with
each couple. In all our couple therapy sessions,
there are four people in the room: the two of
you and the two of us. Both heterosexual and
same sex couples benefit from co-therapy because
there are two sets of trained ears listening,
two sets of eyes engaging, two personalities,
and two genders to help create a vibrant,
productive, and balanced counselling
environment.
Back
to Top
3.
How do you define "love"?
We
share Erich
Fromm's
view that love is "the only passion which
satisfies man's need to unite himself with the
world, and to acquire at the same time a sense
of integrity and individuality". ("The Art
of Loving")
Like Fromm, we view love as an activity that
needs to be learned, practised and mastered over
the course of a lifetime. It is an inner faculty
or an orientation to life that one develops over
time.
Love, like other art forms, such as learning to
play a musical instrument, requires knowledge of
theory, daily practice to perfect ones' skills
and a commitment to the mastery of the art form.
We develop our capacity to love by actively
doing love, not by passively waiting
to receive love, or looking for love
outside ourselves. Back
to Top
4. How do you view
relationships?
We
view relationships as an opportunity for each
partner to develop the capacity to love to his
or her fullest potential.
Relationships fulfil our most powerful striving
- the desire for interpersonal connectedness -
the desire to overcome our feelings of
separateness and allow us to leave the prison of
our aloneness.
Relationships are built every day, day by day,
through a steadfast commitment to shared values.
In our counselling sessions and workshops, we
introduce our clients to several
relationship-building skills, which we feel are
essential to building a loving
orientation. Back
to Top
5. There are so many relationship models out
there, what makes
yours different?
Many
models offer valuable advice. Some subscribe to
a "how to" format, offering pat formulae or
solutions that promise instant change. Others
focus on concrete skills, such as communication,
active listening, conflict resolution and
negotiation strategies.
Ours is a value-based approach, with the goal of
helping couples become more loving in their
everyday life. Our model focuses on
self-awareness. We feel it is necessary to
become more conscious about how we feel, think
and act, before we begin learning new
relationship skills.
We discuss the importance of shared values with
our clients. We encourage them to express their
individuality, while deepening the connection
with their partners. We create a safe
environment where they can learn to be open,
honest and direct with each other. And we teach
them new skills and attitudes that are essential
to developing a loving
orientation. Back
to Top
6. What is emotional separateness?
Emotional
separateness is the ability to hold onto your
own emotions without taking on the emotions of
your partner, i.e. without reacting to his or
her fear, anger or frustration. Easier said than
done. First you need to recognize that your
feelings are independent of your partner's, and
then you need to practice avoiding letting your
partner's moods, anxieties or reactions
change your emotional state. As you begin
to feel calmer, and have more control over your
own reactivity, you will have the opportunity to
experience a deeper connection with your
partner. Back
to Top
7. What
do you mean by a "positive learning
environment"?
Our
therapy does not focus on looking at what's
"wrong" in a relationship, i.e. the deficits of
either partner. The therapeutic process creates
an opportunity for raising self-awareness that
leads to self-confrontation.. We encourage our
clients to think critically about commonly held
illusions regarding love and relationships. We
encourage them to express their innermost
thoughts and feelings, and help them tap
into their inherent capacities to
love. Back
to Top
8. What is different about your approach to
Counselling?
Our
3-day one-couple-only Couple Intensive Retreat
offers the best opportunity to gain concrete
experience in how to connect more deeply. Our
Hockley Valley home office proividesa serene
country setting that will help you relax, feel
open to talk intimately, and find time to
"practice" what you have learned during each
4-hour session. We work as a husband-and-wife
co-therapy team, so you will benefit not only
from two individual perspectives, but from 37
years' living together as a couple, as well as
from our extensive training, experience and
expertise as couples therapists.
Resolving common relationship issues is often
approached from the standpoint of seeing what's
wrong or what's missing in a relationship,
rather than seeing where each partner is at in
his/her personal development - at a particular
moment in time, and in the context of the
relationship. We show couples who focus on what
is "wrong" with their relationships that
they are looking for answers where they cannot
be found. In fact, there is no "relationship
problem". The problem, if you can call it
that, lies within each of us as an individual.
The solution, therefore, comes with our
own personal awareness and efforts to
change - not by focusing on the behaviours of
our partner. Back
to Top
9. Does The
Couple Enrichment
Approach™
benefit all couples, regardless of
age?
Couples
grapple with different issues at various life
stages. The
Couple Enrichment Approach™
encourages lifelong learning and is therefore
beneficial for couples of all
ages. Back
to Top
10. Do you work with non-married couples as
well as married couples?
Yes.
Our services extend to couples of all
backgrounds, ages, and sexual
orientations. Back
to Top
11. Would your program benefit pre-marital
couples and newlyweds?
By
learning the concepts of The
Couple
Enrichment
Approach™,
pre-marital couples and newlyweds have the
advantage of finding out, early in the
relationship, what values they have in common.
They learn to dispel illusions about themselves,
and of each other, decreasing the likelihood of
false expectations and inevitable
disappointments later in life. They develop
practical skills and gain valuable knowledge to
deal with life's issues and
challenges. Back
to Top
12.
What is the secret of your own personal success
as a couple?
We
encourage each other to grow as individuals. We
both strive to live to our fullest potential,
appreciating the gifts that our relationship
brings us. Everyday is an opportunity to express
our love for each other, to work together to
achieve common goals, to laugh about life's
ironies, and to keep the warmth and passion
between us alive and ongoing. Back
to Top
Read
Past Articles
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Couple Enrichment Inc.
308022
Hockley Road, RR#1
(Mono) Orangeville, ON L9W 2Y8
Canada
Contact
us by
email
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Telephone:
(Toll Free)
1-877-897-2333
Orangeville Local Line:
519-942-3338
Fax:
519-942-3305
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We
are located one hour north of Toronto in the
beautiful Hockley Valley, Ontario CANADA
Serving the GTA (Greater Toronto Area), our
home-based counselling office is in Mono Township
(Hwy 9 and Airport Road), just east of Orangeville,
ON
______________________________________________
We serve the entire GTA, including Ajax,
East York, Etobicoke, Mississauga, Markham,
Newmarket, North York, Richmond Hill, Scarborough,
Thornhill, Toronto, Alliston, Amaranth, Aurora,
Barrie, Bolton, Brampton, Burlington, Caledon,
Caledon East, Collingwood, Erin, Georgetown,
Guelph, Hamilton, Hockley Valley, London, Mono,
North Bay, St. Thomas, Shelburne, Sudbury,
Oakville, Orangeville, Shelburne, and
Tottenham.
Easily accessible to the Toronto International
Airport. Our clients have come from as far away
as Australia, Dubai, Great Britain, Jamaica, and in
the United States, from: Alaska , Alabama,
California, Colorado, Florida, New York, New
Jersey, Massachusetts, Maryland, Michigan, Ohio,
Phoenix, Pennsylvania, and Texas. In Canada, we
have counselled clients from the east to west
coast, beginning in Newfoundland. They have come
from Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia, New
Brunswick, Quebec, Ontario, Alberta, and even the
North West Territories.
Back
to Top
©
Copyright 2000-2009 Couple Enrichment
Inc.
Link
to other pages on this site to find information
on:
Couples
Retreats
:: Couples
Intensive
Retreats
:: Marriage
Retreats ::
Couples
Counseling
Retreats
:: Couples
Counseling
:: Marriage
Enrichment
Retreats
:: Marriage
Counseling
:: Marriage
Preparation
:: Relationship
Counseling
:: Marriage
Enrichment
:: Online
Self-Help
Articles
:: Toronto
& Hockley Valley Ontario
offices
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